Juggling Priorities and Battling Emotions – How to Regroup
During the past two weeks, much to my chagrin, this beloved blog has not received the attention it so richly deserves. While it remains one of the highest priorities in my life, and I truly believe it is part of the path my life is to take, I found myself failing at juggling the commitments and desires of my heart and life.
With outside full-time employment, the Thanksgiving Challenge planned, and the holidays looming, I was afforded a once in a lifetime experience to meet 2 brothers, a sister and an extended family I’ve never met. While I’ve known of them for the past 40 years, I did not know if they knew of me. It offered us an extremely rare and fascinating experience filled with a roller coaster of emotions. There have been heartwarming and enthusiastic welcomes and disheartening disappointments and rejection. It is a journey I will share with you in the near future.
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At the same time, a special trip to meet 3 people who held the key to my epiphany will not be coming to fruition. After anticipating it for 2 ½ years, it was a disappointment that brought tears. I’ve weathered the flu, critical family illnesses and will be laid off in the very near future.
My “to do” list grew to unrealistic expectations and in trying to divide my time among the numerous tasks; I touched upon many but did none of them well. I allowed my perception of my value to suffer and, while I have made great strides in looking for happiness within, some of my old behaviors were allowed to surface. My response to these stressors was less than favorable and I began the cycle of punishing myself with food and confusing the comfort of satiety with the comfort one receives from love and acceptance.
This is a recipe for disaster and I have gained 10 pounds.
Today, I very publicly admit my failure, as it is what I need to do to hold myself accountable for my actions. I do not reveal this for sympathy, but to share with you the real life feelings behind an eating disorder and the steps that are needed to halt this behavior and to continue the journey to health and happiness.
Plan for Success – And Accept Nothing Less!
- Journal Food Intake for the next two weeks. Anything that crosses my lips will be written down and accounted for by measuring and counting calories.
- Schedule and keep appointments to exercise. Time for this comes before any other entertainment. It makes me feel better, will elevate my mood, build muscles, burn calories and bring about a state of well being.
- Place signs on my refrigerator and cupboard to stop and think before eating. This helps me ascertain whether I am actually hungry or eating for an underlying emotional reason. This allows time for my brain to make a choice based on facts rather than eating for the moment and then wishing I hadn’t later.
- Reach out to my online network of friends to support and uphold me while I gain control and start the gradual and realistic descent of these unwanted pounds.
- Inform family and friends and ask for their assistance in helping me stay on track. This allows them to tailor their behavior to be supportive and not to put temptation in my way.
- Forgive myself for the last couple of weeks by understanding this is a learning process and that I will only fail if I quit … and I am not quitting!
- Set goal of 5 lbs attached to a reward of a manicure when achieved or, upon completion, set an additional 5 lb goal in exchange for a manicure/pedicure combination when the 10 lb goal is accomplished.
I take ownership and claim responsibility for my actions. I am in control of my destiny and I will continue to believe and follow my dreams. Failure to do so makes it too easy to bury my head in the sand and allow this derailment to turn into the excuse to regain the weight it has taken me 29 months to lose. I deserve better and am worth the effort; so are you!
During the past two weeks, much to my chagrin, this beloved blog has not received the attention it so richly deserves. While it remains one of the highest priorities in my life, and I truly believe it is part of the path my life is to take, I found myself failing at juggling the commitments and desires of my heart and life.
4 Comments:
I'm so sorry you've been through so much lately. (((HUGS))) I think you're being a bit tough on yourself. I think it is easier for some people to gain weight, especially if one has had a much higher weight set point in the past. I agree though if the old habits creep back, it is easier to gain that weight back. Still, if it is very new added weight, if you are really good now, it will drop off just as quickly. Have you thought of adding Metformin to your weight loss regimen? It helped Jimmy Moore recently (see today's blog post on his blog). It is also useful to help with glucose metabolism and is used pre-emptively to ward off diabetes (there was an article about that in a Time Magazine). God bless you. You are a special person and have shown tremendous emotional strength in the past. It is very difficult to always maintain that though when difficult family relationships are thrown into the mix - been there and done that, so I know. I used to routinely gain weight as well....I understand.
Jennifer ~ You are a wonderful friend and supporter and I am glad we met. You and your dedication to others, the recipes you create and share with such talent and passion, shows your caring heart and willingness to help others. We are blessed. I am trying to be kinder to myself and while the old habits crept back, I am taking the necessary steps to lose it. As you said, it does come off easier if one addresses it sooner rather than later. Have not thought of Metformin and truly believe I should eat healthy and not add any outside medications .. but do appreciate the information and will research it for knowledge sake. Your candor and sharing your situation provides strength and, among supportive friends and caring hearts, I am reaching within to grow in spirit and determination and continue on this path to realize my dreams and experience success. Thanks for being such a great friend. Always .. Ranae
Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm not sure I really deserve them to that extent but thanks for the warm, fuzzy feelings this morning. You are a great friend too (and I appreciate your support as well). I'm sure if we lived closer, we would get together regularly.
Since you know how to lose weight and can lose weight, I agree eating the way you know how is the way to go - without Metformin. Metformin is an assist (and perhaps temporary) for people like Jimmy who found it difficult to lose at one point no matter what he did. I tried it once (I have been unable to lose the last 8 pounds (going on several years - but lo and behold I now only have 5 to lose) - I can, I'm sure, with great, sustained deprivation, but I always resist that.), however, my body cannot tolerate Metformin at all - probably due to the thyroid problem. I had to quit soon after taking it, but I've heard it helps people, especially those who are resistant to weight loss, which, thankfully, you are not. I do admire your dedication to help others as well. I think it is the second of the two reasons we are here on this earth.
Please keep inspiring us. You help me too - honestly!
Here is a link for Glucophage:
http://www.ovarian-cysts-pcos.com/glucophage-metformin-pcos.html
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