Bargaining - The Third Stage In Weight Loss!
Bargaining is the stage in which we beg, pray and wish our circumstances to be different; there are even times we attempt to make deals with God. Please, God, why can’t I just be thin? Bargaining is also described as the time we spend negotiating and coming to terms with our situation. This is the third stage of grief and, in this 5-part series; we are examining the similarities between the 5 stages of grief and the feelings we experience on our journey to successful weight loss.How many times did I try to bargain my way out of facing my weight issues? How many times have you? In hindsight, most of my life as an obese adult was spent in this phase. How do you know if you’re in the bargaining phase? There is one simple word that can best alert us; it is the word “if”. “If” I eat this today, I’ll start my diet tomorrow. “If” only I had her metabolism, I would be thin. “If” only I had time, I’d exercise. Does any of this sound familiar? READ MORE... When we allow ourselves to take part in these private “if only” conversations, we are subconsciously giving ourselves permission to maintain our status quo. Our seemingly well-intentioned attempts to change our behavior are then pushed to tomorrow. It is an argument between that part of us that wants to be healthy, happy, fit, and contented with our size and that part that would rather indulge in the pleasure of the moment. It keeps us in a constant struggle within ourselves; one that prevents us from realizing our dreams.What was it that kept me in this bargaining stage for so many years? Did I fear giving up chocolate that much? Did I even have to give it up? What was this love affair I had with food? After much soul-searching, I remained in this stage and perpetuated my obesity for two reasons. I humbly share them with you now in hopes it may help you flee this stage much earlier.1. When locked in this battle of bargaining, I was willing to try any diet or quick fix means that would allow me to lose the weight and return to my previous pattern of eating. Of course, this is doomed to fail on many levels. The word diet, by it’s meaning, signifies a beginning and an end. When we say we are on a diet, it not only indicates the beginning of a new and healthier way of eating, it starts the period we feel is comprised of deprivation. It is characterized by those foods we feel we can’t have (potato chips, ice cream, corn dogs and pizza). The very thoughts of denial can become obsessive and drive us to crave these foods even more. This leads us to the end of a diet, which indicates the cessation of our newfound healthy way of eating and a return to the behavior that caused the obesity in the first place. It is characterized as a time we feel we have failed and is accompanied by guilt, frustration, sadness, anger and self-hatred.2. While living in the bargaining stage, I was not living up to my potential. I made the verbal affirmations but way down underneath I didn’t believe I could change. Funny thing about belief, whether it is positive or negative, what you believe comes true.I also think I wasn’t ready to make myself a priority and put forth the effort needed to change. I was lazy. Buried deep within was the feeling that perhaps I wasn’t worth of the effort; a self-esteem issue I have since resolved. Everyone else in my life was worth the effort and time was made for each of them. While thoughts would run through my mind that I deserved to be treated well and have time to pursue my goals, those thoughts were not put into action. I was my own worst enemy.So, what should we do?*Pay special attention when thinking or saying “if only”; it is a thought process that keeps you from making change. Open your mind; identify the hidden reasons preventing your success and allow your dream to become your reality. *Realize that changing to a healthy way of living incorporates natural healthy foods and moderate exercise. You are not depriving yourself; you are rewarding yourself and your body. There is nothing that you truly crave that cannot be incorporated into a healthy way of living by either portion control or by finding a healthier way to prepare it.*Believe in yourself and envision your success! When a seed is planted in fertile soil, be it a weed or kernel of corn, it will grow. So, too, the thoughts you plant in your mind will grow, whether they are positive or negative. Each time a negative thought or doubt pops into your mind, replace it quickly with 3 positive thoughts and reasons why you can achieve your goals. In doing this repetitively, you provide yourself with positive reinforcement and create a winning “can do” attitude! Related Articles -Denial - The First Stage in Weight LossAnger - The Second Stage in Weight Loss
Bargaining is the stage in which we beg, pray and wish our circumstances to be different; there are even times we attempt to make deals with God. Please, God, why can’t I just be thin? Bargaining is also described as the time we spend negotiating and coming to terms with our situation. This is the third stage of grief and, in this 5-part series; we are examining the similarities between the 5 stages of grief and the feelings we experience on our journey to successful weight loss.
1 Comment:
I have been here in my journey! I didn't understand it before... and I'm not sure that I totally do now either.
I use positive affirmations and self talk ..
I used these same things to deal with other things ... even self-hypnosis... so I figure if they work for those goals.. they just might work here also.
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