Anger - The Second Stage in Weight Loss

Anger - The Second Stage in Weight Loss

Anger is described as a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by injustice, injury or wrong. It is the second stage of grief and, in this 5-part series; we are examining the similarities between the 5 stages of grief and the feelings we experience on our journey to successful weight loss.

My strongest early memory of anger, in regards to my weight, came at 11 years old. We moved from a neighborhood filled with children in Des Moines (Iowa’s capitol), to a farm in Ivy. My world shrank to playing with my siblings or the boy who lived on the neighboring farm. We attended school in Runnells and rode the bus an hour each way; we were the first ones on in the morning and the last ones off at night. If that wasn’t enough of a cultural shock, we attended a gym class where we not only took showers; the teacher would take our towels as we were sent into the showers in our birthday suits. For a little girl who was slightly chubby and very self-conscious, this was devastating. READ MORE...

I was angry! How could they do this to me? What had I ever done to deserve this? Couldn’t the teacher see how much pain I was in?

A few weeks later, one by one we lined up to be weighed and measured. Oh, how I dreaded that! My heart was pounding at the very thought of this humiliation. If you are a normal weight, this is not a traumatic event; however, if you are overweight this can be quite significant! Much to my relief, this was done in a manner that did not reveal those statistics to our classmates and I breathed a sigh relief.

The next thing I heard were the muttered whispers and a small group of girls began looking at me. Then there were more whispers, more stares and finally I heard the number 116; that was my weight. Much to my dismay, the teacher had laid the clipboard on the bleachers while taking care of another student and a classmate had quickly reviewed the list. Her eyes stopped on 116 pounds because it was the highest weight in the class. Pretty soon, a boy with wide black-rimmed glasses started teasing me about my weight and saying I was the fattest person in the class. My anger boiled and I felt like I could explode.

Questions swirled in my head, “Why me? Why was I fat? Why did they make such fun of me? Why? Why? Why?”

This is anger and is Phase II in grief and in weight loss. Do you recall a similar moment where you asked, “Why me?”

Anger, used in a positive manner, can propel us towards change. It is a point where we say, “I am mad and I’m not going to take it any more!”

As a child, I didn’t have the self-esteem or the maturity level to respond positively. Instead, I turned the anger inward and assumed there must be something wrong with me. Surely all those kids couldn’t be wrong! They said I was fat and I believed it. Funny thing about believing in something, positive or negative, it tends to come true.

This was a pivotal point in my life. My emotional eating took hold, it led to feelings of insecurity and self-loathing and shaped the path my life would take.

So, what should we do?

Do not let anger cause deep wounds that are unnecessary. Let anger propel you forward to make a positive change. Use this emotion to make a plan of action to improve your health!

*Look in the mirror daily and say “I love you!”; it feels funny at first but it works!

*Make a “Blessings Journal” and write down at least two blessings each day. Look back over it now and then and use this as a motivational tool when your motivation is waning.

*Write down things that cause worry on a small piece of paper, fold them up and put them in a jar and forget them. Each month, look at them and see how many have been resolved or are no longer important. Of those that remain, put them through the acid test … imagine you have two weeks left to live … and see if they’re still important. If they are, then it is time to take action. If not, let them go.

In hindsight, I did way more harm to me than any of those kids did with words. Do not let anger cause deep wounds that are unnecessary. Let go of the hurts from the past; do not allow them to consume any more of your life. Forgive them and enable yourself to heal. Believe in your dreams!

“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.” Ralph Waldo Emersonl

Related Artilces -

Denial - The First Stage in Weight Loss